Secure Your Own Mask Before Assisting Other Passengers
My doctor lowered my medication dosages last week, which makes me go...
...weeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Except without the thrills and giggles and woo-hoo! part of it.
Despite the unpleasant withdrawal effects, being on the bipolar/anxiety roller coaster again is a good thing. I wasn't getting deep sleep because the dosages were too high, and like most people, I really like sleep. I was also having a hard time focusing, especially while driving. (Yikes.)
Also, being on the roller coaster reminds me that a happy-clappy drug placebo does not equal sanctity. Being in a good mood does not a saint make. Choosing God and his love does.
Because I write on spiritual topics, the "guru" temptation is always close at hand. I don't want to be a guru. I want to write from my weakness and share how God is transforming that into strength. Being on the roller coaster reminds me that I haven't yet "arrived."
(And even now, as I type, I think, "Sheesh, Rhonda, by writing that, you're just proving to the world that you really are a guru because you know that you need to know that you haven't yet arrived.")
(And that parenthetical proves that I am a guru by recognizing that I recognize that I'm guruish for knowing that I don't know.)
(Etc., etc., ad nauseum, and so on.)
I'm still on drugs, so my moods are still manageable, but I'm having moods again, and that requires some adjustment. I get to practice securing my own mask before assisting other passengers.