Secure Your Own Mask Before Assisting Other Passengers

My doctor lowered my medication dosages last week, which makes me go...

via Pixabay, CC0

via Pixabay, CC0

...weeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Except without the thrills and giggles and woo-hoo! part of it.

Despite the unpleasant withdrawal effects, being on the bipolar/anxiety roller coaster again is a good thing. I wasn't getting deep sleep because the dosages were too high, and like most people, I really like sleep. I was also having a hard time focusing, especially while driving. (Yikes.)

Also, being on the roller coaster reminds me that a happy-clappy drug placebo does not equal sanctity. Being in a good mood does not a saint make. Choosing God and his love does.

Because I write on spiritual topics, the "guru" temptation is always close at hand. I don't want to be a guru. I want to write from my weakness and share how God is transforming that into strength. Being on the roller coaster reminds me that I haven't yet "arrived."

(And even now, as I type, I think, "Sheesh, Rhonda, by writing that, you're just proving to the world that you really are a guru because you know that you need to know that you haven't yet arrived.")

(And that parenthetical proves that I am a guru by recognizing that I recognize that I'm guruish for knowing that I don't know.)

(Etc., etc., ad nauseum, and so on.)

I'm still on drugs, so my moods are still manageable, but I'm having moods again, and that requires some adjustment. I get to practice securing my own mask before assisting other passengers.